Ultimate cuteness!

(Photo Cred: We heart it)

Blah day.

It is so ugly today, its ridiculous, so I am just going to throw out some ramblings:

• I have on metallic purple on my nails, just to try something different and be a little creative at work:)
• I am starting a new book today, but Mary Morrison and I am hoping its good; the last book I read had an awful ending.
• Which means, I am def hitting the library tomorrow for some new reads.
• But I have discovered that there are some hundreds of books that I have that I havent read, so that might be fun.
• I am thinking about making a cheesecake this weekend, from Better Homes and Gardens.
• I am going o try to work on spray painting my lamps yellow this week, just to give my bedroom some spice before the holidays. If it will stop raining for a minute.
• I need some creative ideas for my class this week, I want to always have something to do.
• But I love my babies and I love being creative.
• Next on the list, yellow nail polish, just because...
• Please try Starbucks VIA...awesome!!!!
• I'm gonna watch SATC 2 tonight
• And I am mourning the loss of my bestie in 2 weeks as she moves to MS...ugh

Weekend Plans!

Relaxing. Sex and the City 2. Church. Pumpkin Patch. Dinner date with my sis at Brio (fancy!). Sleep. Trick or treating. Breakfast. Book reading. Library movies.

Now I am truly excited. Sounds fun, now I have to try to get everything in:)

So damn chic, it's ridiculous!

Its beginning to be fall and I am beginning to crave amazing style! I heart anything remotely simple and chic and this outfit is all of that, freaking amazing. I have some inspiration.

Happy Birthday Leah!

Yesterday was Leah's Birthday and it was amazing! I surprised her with cupcakes for breakfast and waffles and it was an exciting day for her. Every year gets better and better. I can't believe 8 years has gone by already; its insane and it just lets me know I am getting much older than I thought, but thats a good thing. But I am so grateful for my child and she really saved my life and I am so glad to have the opportunity to call her mine. Leah, I love you more than you know and I know that sometimes things are hard between us, but I love you in the midst of it. You are an amazing child and I am truly grateful. Know that I love you and God loves you.

Love,
Mommy

I heart these tattoos...

How cute are these? I heart them so much!

Hello.

Hi babes, I have been M.I.A. and its crazy, because I just sometimes get into a place where I detach from everything, just so I can get life on track.  Life has been going okay and the moving transition has been really great, but gettting settled mentally weighs me down sometimes, but other than that, I am rediscovering the city and Birmingham is pretty cool; so far so good. There are always so many things to do, so once I come back out of my shell for good, I am going to keep you updated on places to go, eat, shop and really different things to do, so that you can get the gist of how amazing this city really is.

Love you guys.

Changes!

So many changes in my life, its insane! I don't even know where to begin, but in the process of everything, I will say that I am officially back in Birmingham. I got here under a completely different pretense than I had planned for my life, but nevertheless, I am now here. I actually say that I love being here. It is a very different change from being in Huntsville. Huntsville is very progressive, but its smaller, so life just moves slow. In Birmingham, of course, it is bigger here, and everything here is definently more fast pace then I am used to. Life is slowly coming together, and of course as time goes on, I will tell you how I ended up here. But I just had to let you know whats going on. We'll talk soon! Muah...and Roll Tide Roll!

J.Crew cuteness!

(Photo cred: jcrew.com)

How cute is this outfit for Leah? I am in love. It is a little pricey for my taste, but I will def be finding the substitute for all pieces!

Love the Look!

(Photo cred: LeLove Blog)

Love the red Gucci platforms and the slim fitting jeans!

Consolidation.

I think I am going to mix my two blogs together for a little while... I will be mixing my love of everything fashion with my mommy page, and that will be easier for me. I am going to post different outfits, art, things I want and things I love with all my mommy stuff. We'll see how it goes. And I have been thinking about also changing my logo at the top and maybe even changing my layout, we will see. I will start working on my logo this weekend, and we will see how it all turns out. Changes are coming and I amm excited about it all! Hope you guys like!

I wish...

I'm tired.

I am so tired. I am fed up. I have been here before, but now, this time it is more serious. I am tired of people not taking me serious. I am tired of proving myself. I am tired of not looking out for my family- me and Leah. I am tired of men. I am tired of the dishonesty. I am tired of my other family. I am tired of being judged EVERY SINGLE DAY! I am tired of hating myself.

I am about to go into hibernating for a long time. I am fed up with everyone. The good thing about being tired is that it pushes me to change the dynamics of my life. I get motivated to do what I need to. Instead of wallowing, I am going to do something about it and it WILL make me stronger! I will bounce back. For the people, who don't have anything good to say to me, shut your mouth. For people who can't stand me and don't like the way I run my life, kick rocks! You officially mean nothing to me, I am done with you. My new dynamic is about me and Leah. She is all that matters to me and everyone else does not mattter; we are going to be selfish for a bit and do what we need to do. If anyone messes with my dynamic, then there will be hell to pay!

All the men, who either don't have dangling balls or can't be men, I truly don't need you or want you; for the other men, who may be dishonest with whoever, everything comes out! For family, Leah is my family and I want nothing to do with any of you, at all! You  still doubt me and no one supports me, so goodbye, I am taking a leave of absence from you.

I am proud at how far I have come! I love being a mom more than anything and I am glad that the opportunity presents itself that I get to be a full time single mom. Now it is time to focus just on that and nothing else, no men, no drama, no friends, no family. Just me and mine! Whatever I need to do to be STRONG, I will.

Girl's Night Out!

I am excited about the weekend and you need to know why. Of course, Sex and the City 2 comes out and I am going to see it! Me and Krystal (hello single mamas!) are going for a fab dinner, dress up and go and see the movie! I have been waiting like forever for this movie, so I really wanna do it fab. I may even go and get a new dress. Something to look forward to, especially on a long weekend! I hope everyone has the chance to see the movie or do something fun during the weekend.

Feels like its only me...

So last Monday, at work,one of the agents, ran into my car in the parking lot. I thought it was all a joke, but he was serious and it smushed both of my doors on the driver side. It was awful, but he does have great insurance, so I did get a rental. I got a Ford Escape and let me tell you, I am in love. It is the greatest little SUV ever. The Sync system is great and it has everything you would ever want in a car. Plus its a hybrid, so great gas mileage. I get it til Friday, so I am def going to enjoy it and have some fun with it! Yay!

I'm scared.

I think that sometimes, all of us as parents, put on such a facade that things are good and we forget to be real about the situation. I have always been one to pride myself of being real about everything and pretty blunt. But now that the dynamics have changed, I really have to get my true feelings out there. I am not sure if you know, but since I have moved to Huntsville 6 years ago, I have let go the true feeling of being an "official" parent. Because I didn't really know anyone here and had all my suppport in Birmingham, I decided to leave Leah down there, focus on school, and get her every weekend, which for the last 6 years, is what I did. And we have talked every single day since that day that I left Bham. Now that school is done and the degree is got, Leah is finally here with me. I have been waiting for this day for so long and I am so glad its here. I am truly enjoying it so much, but as a mom, my nerves have been eating away at me. I am just so scared and nervous. I am scared that I am going to mess this up. I am scared I am going to fail as a mom. I am scared, because I am a single mom and I am really doing this by myself, not that much support where I am. I am scared that the people that were important to me, that called themselves my friend or even something more, will show their true colors, and not be there. This is the time on my life where I am needing my friends to be supportive and help me and I feel like they aren't there, so I actually feel alone. Don't get me wrong, I am so glad Leah is here, because just seeing how happy she is being here, makes me happy and makes me excited about the future, but I still have my fears. I guess as the days go along, I will be more comfortable and my fears will be calmed down. I know that this is going to take alot of prayer to make it. And I guess the people that really support me, will still be here, even though things will be different. But the good thing is that I am ready for this. I am ready to learn my child and really have the opportunity for us to be close. I am ready for change and this is a good change. I wanted something in my life to be different. We are gonna be fine. I have to be strong, regardless of how I feel and at this point, remember everyday, she is my number 1. Right now, she will be my all and complete me, regardless of who stays and who goes.

H E D!

Happy Earth Day!!!! I hope everyone takes time out to think of things they can possibly change in their lives to go green. I know the two things that I am going to work on to lessen my carbon footprint:

• I am going to work on changing all my cleaning products to ecofriendly products. I have begun using Method products and I love it!!!! I use only like 5 or 6 cleaning products, so it shouldnt be too pricey to substitute.
• I am going to also change to the ecofriendly light bulbs. They are truly energy efficient; I have a few already in my lamps, and I have noticed a but of a change in my utility bill, so that will be something that will be worth it.

Anyways, what are you all trying to change? Good luck!

Tom Ka Gai

Last night, me and Sandra went out to dinner at my favorite restaurant in Huntsville, which is Surin of Thailand. I love everything about it, from the amazing martini bar (with top shelf liquor), fresh sushi and their huge entrees and it is set in an amazing, modern, dim atmosphere. The one thing that I order almost every single time along with everything else I eat is the Coconut Chicken soup. I don't understand how it has such an amazing flavor and makes me want it everyday of my life. Anyways, I think I am ready to try making it at home. I am going with this recipe, so please cross your fingers, as I try this over the weekend. Here is the recipe that I am gonna try and if you are in the mood, you should try it too!

Tom Kai Ga-Coconut Chicken Soup (from allrecipes.com)

Ingredients
3/4 pound boneless, skinless chicken meat
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 (14 ounce) cans coconut milk
2 cups water
2 tablespoons minced fresh ginger root
4 tablespoons fish sauce
1/4 cup fresh lime juice
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
2 tablespoons thinly sliced green onion
1 tablespoon chopped fresh cilantro

Directions
1.Cut chicken into thin strips and saute in oil for to 2 to 3 minutes until the chicken turns white.
2.In a pot, bring coconut milk and water to a boil. Reduce heat. Add ginger, fish sauce, lime juice, cayenne powder and turmeric. Simmer until the chicken is done, 10 to 15 minutes.
3.Sprinkle with scallions and fresh cilantro and serve steaming hot.

Finally, there is another Vacation in sight!

I know I took my major 7 day vacation for the year, but when spring comes, there is always a random itch for something more. Some kind of beach mini vacay or romantic getaway or something. So, me and my bestie Sandra finally set a date for a mini vacay to PCB!!! I am so excited, I dont know what to do with myself! We are going in 2 weeks from Friday, so I have 2 weeks or serious workout and packing!!!! I just want to see water! That is my major agenda, but it will be nice for all the following reasons:

Beer. Crab. Souvenirs. Frozen margaritas. New friends. Pool. Beach. Tans. Good books. Road Trips.

A few random pics...

Things.

I have had so many things on my mind in the past few weeks, it is like my brain is going a mile a minute! My bday is in 3 days (yay!), my actual graduation ceremony is in a month (double yay!) and with all these things happening, I have begun to look at my life and evaluate decisions and observe what my purpose is. I love my life, don't get me wrong, but I just feel like I am not moving forward. I cannot not get a job in my field and I have looked everywhere in every city and state. This is definently not a good place for me to be in my life. I love my job, because I enjoy the people and I know I do a great job, but this is the first time in  a long time that I feel like I am getting antsy. So all I can tell you at this point is big changes are about to start happening! Things that I am definently excited about, but I am also scared out of my brain about. I am not going to jinx myself on telling you at this point, but everything should be in place by July 15th or earlier. The excitement is there, because I truly love change, but I am also a single mom, so I have to think about the bigger picture. Anyways, hopefully it will be sooner than later and as time goes on, I will definently spill the beans. All I can say is life if too short to not do what you love. This is big for me and it will take lots of prayer, so please pray for me.

Take to heart.

I was reading my Sabbath School lesson for worship this morning and this resonated with me (It is taken from Advent Review and Sabbath Herald):

"Be joyful in God. Christ is light, and in him no darkness at all. Look toward the light. Accustom yourselves to speak the praise of God. Make others happy. This is your first work. It will strengthen the best traits of character. Throw the windows of the soul wide open heavenward, and let the sunshine of Christ's righteousness in. Morning, noon and night, your hearts may be filled with the brught rays of heaven's light."

Leah Overload!

I have taken tons of pictures over the last few weeks, but I am such a lazy bum that I am just now uploading pics. But the first set of pics are of my sweet baby, Leah. Enjoy!

Self Control

     So I began reading my Sabbath School Lesson for the week and it is about Self-Control. This is something that I am sure everyone has some type of struggle with self control. It is a very good lesson, I am just now on Tuesday's Lesson and I will finish the rest up tomorrow, but it really said something that I thought was quite powerful and I think I am going to need help with. We have to truly be grounded in God to really be able to overcome. If we are not grounded, we may find ourself in the middle of the battle between who we are standing for God or Satan. And when we don't have self control, we are giving into the ways of the world. Sometimes, we don't see how we reap from it, but we always do whether it takes time or its instant, we just cannot give up. I know I have horrible self-control with certain things in my life, but I need to try to begin the patterns of staying grounded in God, so that self-control will be something that will get easier as time goes on. We are human and not perfect, but that cannot be the excuse for not trying harder.
     Some verses to look at are the following: Genesis 39:7-20, 1 John 2:15,16. Check them out and I hope that you are blessed. I am anxious to finish up the rest of the weeks lessons.

Happy Sabbath!

Hi everyone! It has been a minute, but not too long, and first off, let me say Happy Sabbath! I have really been going through a lot of personal struggles and I am in the process of working through them, but I wont complain, because I am grateful. Anyways, in the midst of my struggles, it feels like I have honestly  been running in the opposite direction from God. This is the time I really need him and I have been putting him on the back burner and I am actually ashamed to even be admitting this, because he has been good to me. I think I have been so distracted by foolishness and those things have been made top priority. It is so embarassing admitting these things, but I am really trying to be real about situations in my life. I am not perfect, but that is what makes me a human being. I have come to the conclusion that I NEED him in my life. Without God, there is no purpose, and I cannot live this life without him in my life. This is the time to get my life together and I am scared, but I cannot give up. He has been so good to me, and has given me so many chances and I owe him everything.

Dear God,

I need to say that I am sorry. I truly am; I have put you last on my list and you do mean alot to me. I need you to be a part of my life, and I do want another chance. Please help me, I feel like I am sinking and I just need you to be my anchor. I have let the ways of the world ruin our relationship and it is my fault. That is not what I want, and I dont know where to start, but I would like you to guide me and help me. I love you and I know the things that I do may make you feel otherwise, but I am ready to make things right and I need your help, because I cant go at it alone and I want to make a stand for you. I love you!

Love your child,

Jessika

We need to have a talk!

Hi loves,
I once again have gone MIA, but there of course is always good reason. Honestly, I have not even been in the mood to even write on this blog. My life has been crazy haywire, and most of it has been work, which has been more than I have expected I would be doing. I never expected that I would start being stressed out about work, but there have been dealines, computer glitches, and attitudes from everyone (including me), but it is starting to slow down and I appreciate this slow time, because now I can start dedicating my time to some of the things I wanna do.

I know you are wondering why the big pic of the amazing doughnuts, but look very hard, because this will be diminished from my diet. Me and Food have a sick relationship and I beginning to get sick of it. I don't know when it started getting so bad, but now because of this relationship, it is decision time to decide what I wanna do. I literally stuff my face with anything, eating all day, every day, without thinking. I am tired of being unhappy and at this point, I am. I am unhappy with what I have to physically look at everyday and I know that I can do better. I have been making so many excuses, so I wouldnt have to put in any work, but that made it worse.

So now, its time for change. So I have begun to figure out what I need to do to get myself back to where I need to be. So first things first, I am going to start on my working out. I have decided that that will be top priority in my life. I am going to workout at least 5 days a week, whether it be 3 days at the gym and two doing yoga, or 5 days at the gym, or even 4 days gym and 1 doing yoga. There needs to be a consistent workout and I have to bring myself back to doing that. NO MORE EXCUSES! This week has gotten so much better, because I went to the gym 3 days this week and I plan on working out this weekend. I know my goals and I will reach them, and just like with school, I am not giving up.

As far as the food goes, I am still deciding if I want to do weight watchers or not. I looked at it last night and it looks promising, but I think if I do it, I will have to go to the meetings. I will know by Monday what I am going to do, but with food, the bottom line is all about PORTION control and I seem to not know how to do that. But if I decide not to do Weight Watchers, I am going to count calories, which I am good at doing, work on my portions, eliminate different things out of my diet (caffeine, alcohol, meat, etc.), and drink lots and lots of water.

I am ready. This relationship is gotta go and so food, I am breaking up with you. No more taking over my life and making me feel bad, no more lying to me, and bringing out the worst in me. We are done and I am READY FOR CHANGE!!!!

I Heart Thursday!

I have not done one of these posts in a while, but I figured why not. First off, let me say, that I have missed you guys, but there are so many deadlines and I have been in a bit of a funk, so that why the lack of posts.

This week has really beat my butt; I have major deadlines for work and I am nowhere near done, I have had those ridiculous migraines again and it has been all week, so I have not been myself at all. I have been in lots of pain and no amount of meds have helped me, so it was not good at all, and Leah has had horrible performance this week at ballet and at school, so it has really had me thinking about my parenting dynamics. I always have those moments of feeling like the worse parent ever and this week truly put that to the test for me. It has just been a rough week and I am glad to say that it will be the weekend.

On to a better note, some things I am thankful for this week:

1. My job-In the midst of being busy, I am gratfeul to have a job and to have a job that I enjoy and coworkers that I absolutely love.
2. Seeing Sandra-Since school has been out, we have not seen each other as much, so having the opportunity to spend time with her makes me happy! We played tons of PhotoHunt, ate Phiddles and drank vodka/crans. (P.S. I love her haircolor)
3. My sweet Coco Chanel- she has been ultra needy this week, but I still my kitty and she kept me tons of company.
4. Taxes- I should be expecting my taxes any day now, and I am excited! Even though most of it goes to Leah's tuition for the fall, I still will have enough left over to do something for myself and revamp up the apartment a bit.
5. A special friend in my life-I am not ready to jinx anything, but this special person has really been making me happy lately, and I truly appreciate it! Makes me laugh, we have tons of fun together and I am beginning to appreciate golf more, sushi, and Man vs. Wild. Thanks for the fun times!

FYI!

Just so you know, the dance studio that my Leah goes to has been voted as the Best Birmingham Dance Class of 2009! Yay!!! I knew I made a great choice and congrats for doing such a great job. In case you are considering, she attend Alabama Ballet School.

http://www.alabamaballet.org/

The article about Alabama Ballet:
http://gocitykids.parentsconnect.com/parents-picks/birmingham-al-usa/best-birmingham-dance-class

Cutie!

My Queue!

Now that school is done, work is extremely busy, so I have not really had a chance to enjoy the free time as much as I would like to, but anything is better than sitting in a classroom during the evening. One thing that I have enjoyed is being able to watch plenty of shows and movies. So I thought I would share my Netflix queue with you... btw, I am finally all the way done with Gilmore Girls, but I am definently going to buy all the seasons for my bday. Enjoy loves!

My Netflix Queue

1. Gilmore Girls: Season 7: Disc 6
2. Cashmere Mafia: Complete Series: Disc 1
3. Cashmere Mafia: Complete Series: Disc 2
4. An Affair to Remember
5. The Way we Were
6. The Graduate
7. Gossip Girl: Season 1: Disc 1
8. Gossip Girl: Season 1: Disc 2
9. Gossip Girl: Season 1: Disc 3
10. Gossip Girl: Season 1: Disc 4
11. Gossip Girl: Season 1: Disc 5

Thanksgiving 2009!

One of my favorite shots:-)


Kendall (my niece) and Leah

(Kendall, Morgan, and Leah)

I just found pictures that I had forgotten about all this time, they are from Thanksgiving when we were in Chattanooga. Enjoy!