Love the Look!

(Photo cred: LeLove Blog)

Love the red Gucci platforms and the slim fitting jeans!

Consolidation.

I think I am going to mix my two blogs together for a little while... I will be mixing my love of everything fashion with my mommy page, and that will be easier for me. I am going to post different outfits, art, things I want and things I love with all my mommy stuff. We'll see how it goes. And I have been thinking about also changing my logo at the top and maybe even changing my layout, we will see. I will start working on my logo this weekend, and we will see how it all turns out. Changes are coming and I amm excited about it all! Hope you guys like!

I wish...

I'm tired.

I am so tired. I am fed up. I have been here before, but now, this time it is more serious. I am tired of people not taking me serious. I am tired of proving myself. I am tired of not looking out for my family- me and Leah. I am tired of men. I am tired of the dishonesty. I am tired of my other family. I am tired of being judged EVERY SINGLE DAY! I am tired of hating myself.

I am about to go into hibernating for a long time. I am fed up with everyone. The good thing about being tired is that it pushes me to change the dynamics of my life. I get motivated to do what I need to. Instead of wallowing, I am going to do something about it and it WILL make me stronger! I will bounce back. For the people, who don't have anything good to say to me, shut your mouth. For people who can't stand me and don't like the way I run my life, kick rocks! You officially mean nothing to me, I am done with you. My new dynamic is about me and Leah. She is all that matters to me and everyone else does not mattter; we are going to be selfish for a bit and do what we need to do. If anyone messes with my dynamic, then there will be hell to pay!

All the men, who either don't have dangling balls or can't be men, I truly don't need you or want you; for the other men, who may be dishonest with whoever, everything comes out! For family, Leah is my family and I want nothing to do with any of you, at all! You  still doubt me and no one supports me, so goodbye, I am taking a leave of absence from you.

I am proud at how far I have come! I love being a mom more than anything and I am glad that the opportunity presents itself that I get to be a full time single mom. Now it is time to focus just on that and nothing else, no men, no drama, no friends, no family. Just me and mine! Whatever I need to do to be STRONG, I will.

Girl's Night Out!

I am excited about the weekend and you need to know why. Of course, Sex and the City 2 comes out and I am going to see it! Me and Krystal (hello single mamas!) are going for a fab dinner, dress up and go and see the movie! I have been waiting like forever for this movie, so I really wanna do it fab. I may even go and get a new dress. Something to look forward to, especially on a long weekend! I hope everyone has the chance to see the movie or do something fun during the weekend.

Feels like its only me...

So last Monday, at work,one of the agents, ran into my car in the parking lot. I thought it was all a joke, but he was serious and it smushed both of my doors on the driver side. It was awful, but he does have great insurance, so I did get a rental. I got a Ford Escape and let me tell you, I am in love. It is the greatest little SUV ever. The Sync system is great and it has everything you would ever want in a car. Plus its a hybrid, so great gas mileage. I get it til Friday, so I am def going to enjoy it and have some fun with it! Yay!

I'm scared.

I think that sometimes, all of us as parents, put on such a facade that things are good and we forget to be real about the situation. I have always been one to pride myself of being real about everything and pretty blunt. But now that the dynamics have changed, I really have to get my true feelings out there. I am not sure if you know, but since I have moved to Huntsville 6 years ago, I have let go the true feeling of being an "official" parent. Because I didn't really know anyone here and had all my suppport in Birmingham, I decided to leave Leah down there, focus on school, and get her every weekend, which for the last 6 years, is what I did. And we have talked every single day since that day that I left Bham. Now that school is done and the degree is got, Leah is finally here with me. I have been waiting for this day for so long and I am so glad its here. I am truly enjoying it so much, but as a mom, my nerves have been eating away at me. I am just so scared and nervous. I am scared that I am going to mess this up. I am scared I am going to fail as a mom. I am scared, because I am a single mom and I am really doing this by myself, not that much support where I am. I am scared that the people that were important to me, that called themselves my friend or even something more, will show their true colors, and not be there. This is the time on my life where I am needing my friends to be supportive and help me and I feel like they aren't there, so I actually feel alone. Don't get me wrong, I am so glad Leah is here, because just seeing how happy she is being here, makes me happy and makes me excited about the future, but I still have my fears. I guess as the days go along, I will be more comfortable and my fears will be calmed down. I know that this is going to take alot of prayer to make it. And I guess the people that really support me, will still be here, even though things will be different. But the good thing is that I am ready for this. I am ready to learn my child and really have the opportunity for us to be close. I am ready for change and this is a good change. I wanted something in my life to be different. We are gonna be fine. I have to be strong, regardless of how I feel and at this point, remember everyday, she is my number 1. Right now, she will be my all and complete me, regardless of who stays and who goes.